Why Should I Trust You?
“He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.” — Lao Tzu
Trust!
Trust is one of those words that many people use without thinking about it.
You hear it from coaches, mentors, managers, and so on! You are hearing from them because they may feel that there is no trust in the way that you may be relating to people. But what are they trying to tell or advise or suggest to you? When you receive such comments, ask them what they mean by trust and the context.
What is trust?
Let’s look at this story. It is about a little girl who sat calmly while the plane flew through extreme turbulence. The turbulence was so bad that the plane made an emergency landing. When it landed, all the passengers quickly disembarked. Amid the chaos, a little girl sat at her seat, seemingly undisturbed by all that was happening around her. A passenger noticed and asked, “Tell me, dear, how is it that you remained so calm while all of us adults were so afraid?” “Looking him in the eyes, she replied, “My father is the pilot, and he said he is taking me home.” [1]
The story tells that trust is about believing in someone because they have a record of keeping their word. The little girl believed that her father was reliable. In other words, the little girl thought that whatever her father told her, he would keep his promise. Trust is the response to the actions and behavior of the person who is trusted.
Trust, therefore, is something that you earn because of your actions and behavior. It is a response to your actions and behavior. No one trusts you without reason. Until people have experienced you, you will not earn their trust.
[1] https://witandwisdomstories.com/my-father-is-the-pilot/,
Look before you leap
To those fond of telling or advising or suggesting to others about trust, take a step back. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your eye? (Matthew 7:3) We all must ask ourselves whether our actions and behaviors make people trust us? What about the actions and behavior of the person telling, advising, or suggesting to you to develop trust? Can you trust them?
If you believe that you can advise, tell, or suggest trust, you should have many examples to illustrate why people trust you. You may wish to explain why people trust you according to the ABCD trust model by Kenneth Blanchard.
ABCD Trust Model
According to Blanchard, several common elements decide what trust is. He calls this the ABCD model, in which each letter stands for a word: Ability, Believability, Connectedness, and Dependability.
Able is about demonstrating competence. Believability is about acting with integrity. Connectedness is about showing care and concern for people. Dependability is about being reliable.
So, the next time someone talks to you about developing trust, you may want to ask, is my ability in doubt? Or do you not believe in what I do? Or do I not show care and concern? Or am I not dependable?
Trust seals relationships.
Trust is the glue that seals relationships. Without trust, there is no relationship, whether with your spouse, partner, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances. Without trust, people are simply strangers to each other. Do you know who matters to you trust you?
